49 thoughts on “Ottawa, Canada’s Capital – International Version | Ottawa Tourism

  1. Russell Barth says:

    How To Seem Like A Local While In Ottawa

    So maybe you are going to school or landed a new government job, or maybe you are just visiting. Either way, you don’t want to look like some noob, so here are some tips on how to appear like a local while visiting Ottawa.

    – Meander. Don’t just keep to the right and try to match the speed of the pedestrian traffic like in regular cities. No – walk slowly and move from side to side. The sidewalks in Ottawa are wide, so explore them! Remember to stop short often, to induce collisions.

    – Ride your bike on busy sidewalks. Ottawa streets are a death trap for bike riders, so why not make your problem everyone else's problem?

    – Wear flip flops and drag your feet on the ground as you walk. That is music to an Ottawan’s ears.

    – Smoke. Tobacco (mostly), and be sure to do it in doorways and right underneath "no smoking" signs and on bus platforms. Don’t worry, no one will fine you. The signs and bus security guys are just there for show.

    – Perfume, and lots of it.

    – Cat Hair On Clothing is a popular Ottawa fashion you should adopt. It is all the rage.

    – Wear a big backpack, especially on the bus. If you bash into a person and they give you a dirty look, just sigh a half-hearted “…. sorry.” Do NOT come across as genuinely sorry for the infraction, or people will immediately know you are from out of town.

    – When carrying an umbrella that you aren’t using for rain coverage, don’t carry it in front of your chest like a flag-bearer, carry it like a spear at your side… so you can meet new people. Or, if it is one of those short ones, swing it around like it is a toy or old-timey police baton. You’re in a crowd, so why not have fun!

    – Let everyone hear the music you have on your phone. Top volume, where ever you go. Autotune'd songs preferably. The "Tok tok tok tok bwooOOP" sounds of you sending and receiving text messages are also essential "I am from Ottawa" signals.

    – When driving, act like it is your first time in a car, and in a city.

    – No eye contact.

    – When reaching the top or bottom of an escalator, leaving a store, or getting off of a bus, be sure stop for a few seconds and look around. Maybe check your phone.

    – Pretend Ottawa is more interesting than it actually is.????

  2. Smallstudio Design says:

    Ottawa has wonderful history and incredible architecture! There’s nothing to be ashamed about our beautiful capital city. People make the most stupid jokes about Canada and its capital city only because they’re just plain ignorant.

  3. s0c1al1z3dm3d1c1ne says:

    As a resident, born and raised, I had no idea how amateur our presentation was to the world. As opposed to being shamed however, I am proud. Please do not casually visit, please do not come here looking for recreation. We have serious business to conduct, and it has to be done right now! This is not a tourist destination, it is a vector for free thought, and international debate. Please only visit us if you are interested in the concerns of the citizens of the world. That's what we're here for.

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